Monday April 2th
Today is the 2nd day of Easter. Went to visit family and played a game on my younger brother his DS, was fun. It did cost me a lot of energy. Besides going to family and going back to my own home (1.5 hours away), i didn’t do a lot. I think i slept okay.
Still not quite used to writing something on a daily base so we make a quick jump till Saturday..
Saturday April 7th
I slept until am this morning. And since then i was wide awake… ugh. Showered, shaved my legs, put bodylotion everywhere. And waited until it was time for dinner. Believe me, waiting hours and hours trying not to spend a lot of energy, takes up a lot of energy. So i had a meltdown at 4 pm because i hadn’t been able to sleep a few hours in the middle of the day and i felt so empty and tired and just overal not well, i knew that i would have to leave my house at 5 pm to be on time for the dinner party. In the end it all went okay.
After the dinner the Gala started, which was also fun. The only thing is that i am still scared by alcohol. Not drinking is weird, cause everyone is drinking alcohol, but there still is this panicky voice in my head constantly warning me that alcohol could make it easier to trigger me. I think overall the night went okay. Not to much weird stuff happend.
Sunday April 8th
Today I woke up at 11.30, i think. Maybe it was 1.30, could also be. I had a really slow start, but at like 2 i started cleaning the living room and actually still did something productive. After cleaning i was tired so i did nothing for a while and then i got mad at my friend for not really a good reason. I don’t know what exactly but something he sad triggered my weird acting mind. I didn’t start yelling or something but i did send him out of my room and locked my door. Yup, not really something a grown up person should do. Well, not the way i did. And now i am sitting here writing this post, wondering if next week is gonna be anything better.
See ya later!
Listening to Breath me – Sia
I really like this song at the moment
being fit for me 